Standing Tall

       I have to be honest....I knew that I decided on Christmas Day that I would join Weight Watchers once and for all and actually go to meetings. It took me until February 9th to actually make that happen. I went knowing that this is what I needed, but deep inside, I still was unsure. I spent the last week counting points, and then I went away overnight for Valentine's Day and didn't really count points. I did watch my portions and made good food choices though.
       I dreaded going to my meeting this morning, but I went and I was willing to accept losing half a pound because that would mean to me that I started at least something. When the scale said I lost 5 pounds, I thought I was deaf. I asked the girl again if it was really. I was flying high after that. You see, this weight loss thing has been an on again, off again thing now for 8 plus years, and I'm just so tired of it all. This is a life-change once and for all. I can't be doing this to myself anymore. I realized that the most important important person to love is myself. I deserve the best, and I can't get there by feeling sorry for myself but making it happen. I know that some people don't understand the struggles that come with making changes such as weight because they have never struggled themselves. That's ok because I also know that there are others who know and have lived it.
       I thought I was fat when I was in college, but looking back, I was at a healthy weight. I never really loved my body image, and I can say it's because that Hollywood and mostly everyone make body image purely false!!!!! It's not realistic that everyone be stick thin and tall! Those are models who basically starve themselves and have no curves! I feel badly for the girls growing up today who look at those magazines and watch shows and feel ugly and fat when in reality, they are perfect for who they are! Yes, I do know that today the obesity rate with children has sky-rocketed. I think it has alot to do with how the parents raise their children and how they feed them and control their activity levels. I, by no means, have perfected this, but I am well on my way of making myself aware of my own children and what I feed them as well as allow them to do. I allow my children to play some video games and watch TV, but I also keep them busy and limit their "down" time. I am aware of how I pack their lunches and what I feed them. I refuse to be so controlling that they notice and begin to have a negative self image either....that's a very DANGEROUS thing to plant in a child's mind...it's sticks with them FOREVER.
       All of this to say, I feel my 5-pound victory to one GIANT leap for me on this journey. I plan on starting to add a video blog to this eventually.